luke

It is a year to the day since someone very dear to me took his own life. God, that's weird to say aloud.

You know, I've never enjoyed Valentine's Day. But it was in more of a humorous manner, you know? Jokingly coloring pink hearts black, drawing "X's" in Cupid's eyes, that sort of thing. Now, however, this day of love has taken on a whole new meaning.

On a day when happy couples are swapping spit and candy hearts, I am sitting here remembering. I'm remembering, in the most lovely and heartwrenching way, how much this person meant to me. And to my two best friends. I'm remembering his goofy grin and his gentle heart. And, although tears were shed today, right now I'm smiling, because I'm picturing this person crashing into a room, with a beaming face and a handful of movies. And I'm remembering, hearing, now with a fresh wave of sadness, his footsteps as he crosses the room with his fuzzy red blanket, and I'm feeling, now with a smile on my face, as he softly tucks the blanket around me, doing all he can not to wake me.

One year ago, my best friend and I were driving from college back to our hometown. One year ago, we saw the sign for La Crescent and both started crying. One year ago, upon seeing that normal sign, a sign I see nearly every day when I'm home, everything became real. Luke was gone. And, one year ago today, he still is.

I miss you, Luke, every day I miss you. You cannot possibly imagine how much your short, sweet presence in my life changed me, for the better.